Monday, July 10, 2017


While I was staggering home from a bar in 1986, I suddenly heard the distinct sound of a cat meowing in distress. I stopped in my tracks, and discovered a cat in a posh carrier dropped off outside an animal shelter at 2 A.M.

I  opened the carrier (this was during one of the coldest winters in Chicago), and did my best to comfort the cat as best I could. I reasoned she would freeze to death before the shelter opened in the morning, so I put the shivering cat back in the carrier, and hopped on a warm bus to my apartment.

Long story short: I named her Venus, and she became my constant companion for many wonderful months. Sadly, my lover and I finally got our subsidized apartment, and no pets were allowed. I was forced to find a good home for Venus.

A "friend" offered to give her a good home, so I trusted him. He buttered me up by telling me I would still be able to visit Venus, and he would give her the good care she deserved.

Here's the dark part. A mere week after I trusted him with Venus, he claimed that he'd given her to a lonely old lady as a companion. Whenever I asked if I might be able to see Venus for a visit, he always had some lame excuse.

I finally confronted him about the matter, and he fessed up that he'd tossed Venus out of the house because he was afraid he might hurt her. He threw her in the alley (and she was declawed) during a severe snow storm. I still have nightmares about this. And I learned that most "friends" are frauds at best.

This nutcase now calls himself a vegan. I hope that karma will teach him a lesson or two. Big Time.


  1. I am always infuriated (to say the least) when I hear about the heinous acts of heartless people. Who would ever leave a cat outside in a carrier on a freezing night? And who would toss a cat outside in an alley during a snowstorm?? It's beyond insane - and angers me more than you could imagine.

    It's sad when you can't trust someone whom you thought was your friend.

    It wasn't your fault, Dylan, but I can understand why you'd still have nightmares about it.
    Anyway, thanks for sharing this tragic tale.

    1. Thanks for the kind words, Jon. I guess I still have the nightmares because Venus never stood a chance. She was dumped at a pet shelter on a Saturday. The shelter did not open until Monday. She would have been dead before the doors were open.

      I try to tell myself that I at least gave her a few more months of being happy and alive.

      But the final outcome of her demise will haunt me until my grave. Life (for the vulnerable) is cruel at best.

    2. Jon, I just read your recent post and was very glad to learn that Scruffy is feeling better. It's good to know she is on the mend!

      I never write out a grocery list, but somehow manage to buy everything I need: It's because I always buy the exact same items.

      Glad you were at least able to make it to the store alive! It's times like this I am glad I never learned how to drive.

      Given that I live downtown (I can walk to all the places I need to get to) I make a very odd recluse indeed. So many people and cars each time I force myself to shop and such. I just try to get the ordeal over with as quickly as possible.

      I have not seen SWOON, but I am quite familiar with the true story. There have been many movies based on Leopold and Loeb (my favorite is Hitchcock's ROPE). I'll be sure and give SWOON A LONG PEEK.

      I tried to leave this comment on your blog, but was informed that the comment feature was closed. I hope the Trolls are not giving you a hard time? Just remember that you DO have readers that value your blog. Take care of yourself and Scruffy :-)

    3. Dylan, I had temporarily changed the comment settings on my blog...and then completely forgot about it. Sorry for that!

      Ironically, I usually buy the exact same food items when I grocery shop - - but I always seem to forget things like soap, paper towels, batteries, etc.

      I like SWOON a lot and think it's brilliant - but it's definitely not for everybody. I'm glad you're familiar with the true story..
      I like the Hitchcock film ROPE.In fact, I discovered it on YouTube and watched it a few weeks ago.

      By the way, the two actors who play Leopold and Loeb in SWOON are gay in real life.
      I also think the two actors in ROPE were also gay, at least Farley Granger was.

  2. It's too bad you seem to suffer the recontact of this particular "friend" periodically, in spite of your best efforts to avoid, & usually 2,000 miles of separation. Maybe there is remorse over past hurts that he can't express. Maybe a therapist could offer a better explanation. Sorry that I've nothing better to offer

    1. Yes, it was totally strange to encounter him in Portland (he was stopping by on his way to San Francisco), and I cannot believe he had the gall to think I would dare to speak to him.

      Remorse is not something he is capable of. I honestly believe he is a sociopath. And this is based on MANY times I suffered him gladly while he showed no empathy or remorse for selfish and damaging things he had done to me and many other folks.

      If he is a vegan, then I am a saint. NOT.

  3. Hi Dylan,

    "Most friends are frauds at best" - true, and it sucks that they have zero conscience while they sleep soundly knowing full well they've caused harm. You did your best with Venus at the time. She'll always remain in your heart, so keep holding onto the good memories as hard as that is.

    PS - Thanks for the note on Jon's blog about a cat bell. I never thought of it until you mentioned it. I'll get one in the morning since I just read your note this evening. We're in the midst of a provincial state of emergency with over 200 raging wildfires burning around us. The air is thick with heavy smoke and ash since Friday ... it's a disaster right now here in British Columbia. Is Portland getting the smoke ? Hopefully not.

  4. Hi Helga,

    Venus was very shy, so that's why I bought a collar with a little bell on it. She would hide in places I never could find her, and I only knew she was still at home when I would find her food dish empty in the morning.

    I guess the reason I am still haunted by her memory is because she was basically left to die two times that I am aware of. No wonder she was so afraid of people!

    Anyway, just hearing her little bell after dark (she was like a ghost in the morning) always made me smile. Plus I was always happy when I discovered she was eating the Fancy Feast I put in her dish twice a day.

    Do buy the cat bell! It doesn't cost very much, and you will be able to know all is right in the world each time you hear the little bell ringing.

    The raging wildfires sound frightening! Please be safe as best you can. No smoke in Portland I am aware of. I'll be holding a good thought for you and yours.

    1. Oh, and just a quick note to inform those that have asked me if the pic I used in the post is the real and true Venus. The answer is no. Even though I took several pics of her (when she was not hiding!) they all were lost during my dark homeless years.

      She was a Persian Blue (actually a quite exotic cat). And it still boggles my mind why somebody would just dump her at a shelter in the winter? Maybe they could not handle how shy and frail she was. I guess I'll never know. But I thank everyone for the kind comments and emails I am fortunate enough to have received :-)

      P.S. Helga, I hope you are surviving and okay? And I hope the little cat bell made things much easier for you in this oftentimes impossible world...

      I'm off to Jon's Blog: I hope to find something from you there :-)

    2. Hi Dylan, just dropping in to say I'm okay. I've taken in evacuees from other communities so life has been hectic. I've also been volunteering help where needed. The fires are still actively burning with over thirty thousand people evacuated from their homes. My friend, " Michelle " over on her blog in the UK wrote a lovely tribute to our wildfire situation and it really touched all of us today. Thesmallgodsshallbemyjudgeblogspot. I think it's one long word which takes you to her place if you care to look.She's also a gifted writer and poet.

      I have the cat bell which helped a lot. Her owner returned from Peru once she heard about the wildfires.

      Thank you for your kind concern. You take care as well ! Cheers for now ....

    3. Hi Helga, so glad you are okay! And how kind and generous of you to help other people during this crisis. Not everyone is willing to do something like that :-)

      Happy to learn that the little cat bell was a great success. Venus would hide for days at a time, so it was music to my ears when I'd hear her bell during the wee hours of the morning.

      Take good care of yourself! I hope things will be back to normal for you as soon as it is possible...

  5. Wishing Jon the best of luck with your kitty Scruffy.

  6. Thanks, Roy. Many people are keeping their fingers crossed for Scruffy :-)

  7. Hey, Dylan - I just wanted to thank you for the kind comment that you recently left on my blog. I didn't want to write a response on my blog because there are too many prying eyes.

    Unfortunately, the anonymity of the Internet really encourages vicious and hateful people to flourish. We have both been victims of this (many times).

    This guy named Mike (known as "Should Fish More") has been plaguing me for nearly two years. He simply won't let go.
    He is in his 70's and claims to have once been a doctor. He feels that he's intellectually superior to every one else and enjoys putting people down.

    The very first comment that he ever left on my blog was a nasty one - telling me that I was conceited and "full of myself" and talked about myself too much. Later, he called me a "fucking idiot", a woman hater, a racist, a Nazi, and accused me of being a member of the KKK.
    The next time I hear from him I'm going to delete his comment immediately, without even reading it.

    As for cats - - I have discovered that most cats lovers are intelligent, sensitive, very special people. I have nothing against dogs, but cat lovers are truly unique.

    Well, I've rambled on enough. Just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your support and encouragement (I admittedly think I have a secret crush on Dylan...*smile*).

    You don't have to post this if you don't want to.
    And - by the way - thank Roy for wishing me luck with Scruffy!

  8. Jon, Roy takes a peek at my blog on a regular basis (looking for signs of life) so I am sure he appreciates your thanks :-)

    It really is odd why somebody would invest so much hate in somebody else's blog? I personally think "The Fish" is more than a bit jealous of your intelligence and popularity? Just my opinion.

    Don't let the haters drag you down. You are worth so much more than that.

    I've had wonderful friends that have known: Ginsberg, Gorey,and even the quite difficult Gore Vidal.

    The best were humble (my friends). The worst were the rich and famous. Quentin Crisp puts them all to shame. His humility was the real deal 110%.

    P.S. I have a secret crush on you *blush*

    Let's not tell the world... :-)

  9. Just for Jon to know my affection for cats, my last one made it to 17 and walked on a leash, was carried around the neighborhood during his last years, as well as trained for travel in cars, trains & a small plane.
    Due to my need for future travel, "my cats" reside across the street and come over to visit but don't stay.

    1. Roy, I still remember when you and your last cat went on the small plane trip. He was a very brave little fellow!

  10. Hello! I've been perusing your excellent blog after having seen your comments on Jon's blog for quite a while. You don't seem to have any following widgets here --I like GFC-- so I put you on my blogroll at "Trainride of The Enigmas". I too have a fondness for Dickinson --as evidenced in post of April 4, 2017. Also have 2 poetry blogs accessible from my profile page, or blogroll, "Invalid's Workshop" and "Gardening with Geo." Hope you visit because I sure like how you write.

    1. Hello Geo! Thanks for your many kind words. Dickinson is my favorite poet, but Sylvia Plath is just as important to me. Their wise words have saved my life more times than I can count! Good poetry is like prayer to me: It both calms and heals the soul.

      I'll be sure to take a long peek at your blog. Thanks for stopping by :-)

  11. I thank you much, Mr. Roy! I'm working big time on the "situation." Your sweet support is making all the difference in the world. The end of the week cannot get here soon enough :-)

    P.S. The mysterious checked in missing library item was eventually found. Just a 25 cent fine to add to the rest! I can live with that big time. Hope you are having a happy weekend :-)

  12. Hi Dylan, I just read your comment over on Jon's blog. I heard that Washington and Oregon is getting our wretched wildfire smoke now. I'm sorry you're having to put up with that stench. Hopefully some wind will blow it in another direction and keep it away from all of you there. We can't go outside without facial masks since our air quality is off the charts. I look like a vampire with red irritated eyes ... this is going to continue burning around here for some time to come I'm afraid.

    I had two dead crows on the patio this morning. Wildlife is suffering from this thick smoky air day after day for over a month now. No sky is visible,no stars to be seen, no sun or moon except for orange dots once in awhile. Can't run to Alberta since a fire just busted out there shutting off the highway at the border. What a summer ... I sure hope yours is a lot better.

    Thanks for asking about me, Dylan - I appreciate your thoughtfulness :)

    1. Hi Helga, sorry I did not reply sooner. It's been REALLY hot here, and I feel drained and have to force myself to eat something and keep hydrated. I cannot even imagine what you must be going through.

      It's very sad about the two dead crows. One of my favorite poems (by Ted Hughes) is about crows and how difficult it is for wildlife to survive in this crazy world.

      I'm glad you are hanging in there as best you can! Please keep me posted :-)


Don't be shy...