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| 1967 -1994 |
I can still remember when I first heard that Kurt Cobain had taken his own life. I went into a deep state of mourning that lasted for a solid month. Why? He had great talent, a young child, and a wife that wanted to see him more alive than dead (many people argue this point - I don't agree with any of the conspiracy theories about Courtney Love). To each his own.
What I will always miss most about Kurt is the music: He still had plenty of new songs he could have written in the future, but there is no future once you have offed yourself.
I know he was in a lot of pain (his music made that clear). But I wonder what might have happened if he could only have given life another month or two?
The best tribute to Kurt on the internet is by the author of THE BASKETBALL DIARIES - Jim Carroll. He fought his own demons during his youth, but managed to hang in there as best he could. He wrote more songs and books. He wrote some great poetry. He did not become a member of the 27 club. I just wish Kurt could have known how much he was appreciated and loved by many: This is true for all people that leave the world much too soon.
Poem Copyright by Jim Carroll
Essay Copyright 2018 by Dylan Mitchell
I have always felt that almost ALL people who committed suicide would never have done it - if given a second chance. They acted instinctively and mindlessly, without rationality or careful consideration.
ReplyDeleteConcerning the death of Marilyn Monroe, author Fred Guiles said "All that was missing was the rescue". I believe that was true.
I doubt if very many suicide victims truly wanted death. They wanted rescue, validation, reassurance, someone to guide them through the dark times, and someone to listen.
During my turbulent life I attempted suicide a few times, but they were always very half-hearted attempts. I never truly wanted to die. I wanted the bastards who had made me miserable to die. If I killed myself they would have been happy (in retrospect that sounds irrational - but it's how I felt at the time).
I've heard of "The Basketball Diaries" but knew very little about Jim Carroll. His poem is excellent and a very apt and fitting tribute to Cobain.
Thanks, Dylan.
Jon, people think I'm making this up, but I think about suicide every single day. It's just a part of my dark personality, so I've learned to live with it as best I can.
ReplyDeleteHowever, there's a big difference when it comes to thinking about something and actually following through on the thought. I just make the most of each day and the dark thoughts eventually stop hounding me.
I think you are right that most suicides don't really want to die. They are seeking an escape from intense pain, or they are crying out for help in the only way they know how.
So many of the people I respect have taken their own lives: Marilyn Monroe, Sylvia Plath, Kurt Cobain, Anne Sexton, Truman Capote, Elizabeth Hartman, Diane Arbus, Vincent van Gogh, Richard Brautigan, etc.
The best book about suicide is THE SAVAGE GOD. The author (A. Alvarez) personally knew Sylvia Plath, plus he is a suicide survivor himself!
I've read many books on the subject, and he really managed to get to the truth of the matter in a scholarly way. Just think: if he had not survived his own suicide attempt - then his masterpiece never would have been written.
Oh, and he believes Sylvia Plath wanted to be saved. She took steps to make sure she was rescued in time, but everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. So very tragic.
I've never read "The Savage God", but it sounds like something I should definitely put on my reading list.
ReplyDeleteI've read it at least a dozen times. Oddly enough, I never had heard of Sylvia Plath until I discovered the book in a used bookstore for fifty cents! Alvarez was a good friend to Sylvia when she needed a good friend most...
DeleteDylan, this is a sane and sensitive post. I am appalled by the number of excellent artists who committed suicide. As I read your post, the death of Leslie Howard oddly came to mind. I always admired his films and learned he was also an excellent writer. He didn't commit suicide but was, at the height of his career, on the wrong plane at the wrong time. Tragedy. An artist's premature death sometimes involves being shot out of the sky. I'm fairly certain he disapproved.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Geo. Suicide is such a sensitive subject, so I think it's important to discuss it in an open and honest way.
DeleteLeslie Howard is one of my favorite actors! I first became aware of him after seeing Pygmalion. Then I caught The Petrified Forest on the Late Show - and I was a fan for life.
I'd heard that he died while on a plane during World War Two, and there's still much speculation about why the plane was shot down? Most people remember him from Gone with the Wind, but I prefer the films he starred in during the early 1930s.
Another tragic figure is Jean Seberg. She will forever be remembered for her outstanding performance in Breathless...
Hello Dylan - I agree, suicide is a mistake. I presume most might choose to turn back time if they had that chance over again.
ReplyDeleteI was a big fan of Kurt Cobain's music even though one could hear and feel his pain through so many of his songs. His death was felt by many. Shocking and extremely tragic how so many check out .... Robin Williams, Chris Cornell, Anthony Bourdain, just to name a few.
Clinical depression seems to be a common factor in many suicides. The silent suffering kept bottled up inside like it were something to be ashamed of, like a sign of weakness, or they just didn't care to share their personal vulnerabilities with anyone.
Suicide is a topic which should be talked about - and I do believe mental health awareness is finally on the rise.
Nice to see you again. Take care !
Helga! Long time no see! I thought you were mad at me (because I tend to frustrate people what with my odd ways and all), so I chose to respect your feelings. I'm not an easy person to know :-)
DeleteI cannot believe I forgot to mention Robin Williams! Thank you for reminding me (I even wrote a haiku about his death)!
It just all gets to be so overwhelming when you add it all up: These are beloved human beings we are speaking of - not just cold statistics, etc.
And will the suicides ever end? That's the question I ask myself every single day. I think talking about it (bringing it out in the open) is a step in the right direction. The stigma causes so many folks to remain silent. And silence can be a deadly thing.
We all need to connect big time. That's why I'm so glad to hear from you! I hope you are well (I remember you were enduring some quite difficult times). Nevertheless, you are a strong person, so I know you will always survive no matter what. Thank you for giving me another chance! Please take care of yourself - you are a very special person...
- Dylan
Dear Dylan, Good grief,I was never mad at you. Your comments were closed so I couldn't speak with you is all. I'm easy going and most everyone I know is odd in some ways, myself included. Hey, that's what makes us perfectly imperfect ... nothing to be worried about, we're good.
ReplyDeleteI don't interact with many on the Internet ... just you, Jon, and my friend in the UK. You're all good people and I enjoy the conversations we're able to share at times. I'm pleased to know you .... even if it's just a little ;)
Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot. Talk soon I hope - peace out ...
Dear Helga, your wonderful comment made my day. I know I had the comments section closed for several months (I'm not really sure why Jon and I tend to get the most nasty comments on the internet?), but when it's all said and done - the good and sane people like you make it worth keeping the door open.
DeleteI think the fact that I am so honest tends to offend the rather insecure and dishonest bunch. But I have always been this way: You should have experienced me in high school and college! Most of the other students did not have a clue about what I was trying to say :-)
I'm glad that was a long time ago. The present is what matters most in life...
Here I am again, Dylan. I'm glad that you and Helga have "reconnected" - she's a fantastic person, along with Geo, Susan, and a few others. It's always reassuring to know that genuinely good, caring people still exist.
ReplyDelete(I personally think that the ones who hate us are jealous - not to mention ignorant).
You said that you're not an easy person to know - and I am exactly the same way. When I was young I seemed to be a lot more open and gregarious. Now that I'm growing older I've retreated from humanity and feel perfectly comfortable being a hermit. Yet, we can never exist entirely alone, without the nourishment and encouragement from others.
It's an honor for me to know good, genuine human beings like yourself and the others who frequent our blogs.
I forgot to mention that one of my VERY favorite poets, Thomas James, committed suicide in 1974 when he was 27. His only book of poetry, "Letters to a Stranger" had a profound influence on my writing and my early poetry. The book was seemingly dormant for many years, but recently was reprinted in a new edition and is available on the Internet.
Thomas James was gay (I had guessed that). He shot himself after the death of both his parents.
Jon, it's always a pleasure to hear from you :-) I agree that good folks like Helga, Susan, Geo, Mr. Roy, Lisa (and you) really keep me blogging. To hell with all the rest...
DeleteWe already have actual war in the world - why make it a part of the internet?
I cannot even begin to tell you how many blogs I read by what I can only call total sociopaths. Do I leave hateful comments? NO. I ignore them big time in the future. It's not worth my time or energy. No rocket science is required.
I am now looking into the life of the tragic poet you mentioned (why do so many perish at 27?).
I guess we should be glad we made it to fiftysomething?
- Dylan
Jon, too sad for words. I wonder why so many gifted poets die young? Thank you for bringing his brilliant work to my attention...
DeleteP.S. His tragic story reminded me of the life and times of Joe Bolton. So much talent lost way too soon...
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